Category: Writers Block
When you Can't Hide
The room was too small,
The fight too loud,
The broken glass so obvious,
The alcohol apparent,
And the two of them, so angry,
Her so beyond the point,
And the girl in the bed,
The girl in the middle,
The one who was asked her opinion,
The shaking girl,
The shivering girl,
And the two people screaming,
The two people yelling,
The angry people,
And the almost-suicidal woman,
The threat of a 21st-floor rail,
The poison pumping through her,
And the girl,
That little girl,
That innocent girl,
Shaking and alone and vulnerable,
Then the broken heart,
The way the woman could not have come,
The van that took that girl, that man,
The security gate, Where's Mom,
The quiet answer to the man's question,
The unnerving request,
Answer me,
And she did,
She answered him,
She told him,
And stayed quiet,
Then the planes,
So much space and time,
The absence,
Her dear mother,
Who had already threatened to just leave,
And the bus,
The sleeping,
Then the car,
She'd forgotten her pink case,
Then the house,
She was so so tired,
The bed,
Her bed, her sanctuary,
Finally finally finally,
Sleep, the best kind,
Heavy sleep, dreamless and honey sweet,
And then the computer,
She was doing things her mother wouldn't like,
Searches she wouldn't dream of normally,
Then the tiny whispers of night,
The light of predawn,
The noise of the morning,
And the sleep,
Then Mom coming back,
Returning home with comfort and anguish,
It's over baby,
It's done, I'm here,
And then'''
Him leaving,
Holding a suitcase and car keys,
The hugs he gave like he meant them,
When he really didn't,
And the night of denials,
The night of barely happiness,
Not even happiness,
And the summer after,
The reality that refused to leave,
Leave her in peace,
And her annoying family,
Her stupid annoying family,
You can't hide,
It's not allowed,
Well what if I want to,
Just leave me alone,
Then the school year,
Starting without him,
Those broken moments,
She couldn't handle it anymore,
And just had to let it out,
The times when she just had to hide,
Still come to her,
When she just needs a good cry,
One good tear to shed in blame,
One good tear to shed in grief,
The unguarded moments,
The open moments,
Then her immediate realization,
I've said too much,
And she retreats into her shell.
So, is this when your dad got into a huge fight causing him to leave you two to care for yourselves? That just sounds messed up. You, afraid, your mother trying to keep sane, that's just my interpretation.
No, Marilyn. It's about a single night, written in third-person. About me. I'm the vulnerable one. I'm the one who was never left at peace that summer. The family told me that I couldn't hide. And it's me, to this day, that will open up for brief periods of time, realize she's said too much, and close, like a shriveling flower.
Oh, okay. I see now.